Today I read my cousin Amy's excellently written blog. In it, she post a quote from a movie that made me think about the one thing I can't be without. While I realize that we all have something that we can't be without, there is always something that when you don't have it, you feel naked. The one thing that you can't find me without actually was a gift from my grandmother when I was about 10ish: a walkman with headphones.
Yes, I said a walkman. That year at Christmas, we were gathered at my Dad's house. I have what I call "all three" siblings. I have a full blood brother, David; a half-sister, Sarah; and a step-sister, Regina. I grew up almost my whole life with my brother and then my high school years with Sarah, but I digress. At Christmas, my grandmother had gotten us all a gift. Gina, the oldest, and David both got large radios. Not stereo or boom box big, but large radios. Sarah got a small but effective radio as well. Me, I was given a walkman. To be honest, I was mad. I couldn't understand why they all got the radios and I got a walkman. Man, did my view change over time. Ended up being the most unbelievable thing I got (until I was 25).
That walkman became my personal escape. It made me listen to music more and more. From radio stations to stealing my brothers music to learning about and loving hip hop to walkmans and cds to ipods and mp3s, I've never been without it. If you've ever seen me, I have it on me. I am that person who has music playing non-stop and at a loud volume. I should be deaf right now, but god blessed me with two unbelievable organs, my liver and my ears. For all the shit they go through, they should have quit a long time ago.
I can't be without it. When I drive somewhere and get out of the car, I put my ipod on and then go. Walking to work, it's on. In the mall, it's on. At the movies before it starts, it's on. Gym, bookstore, grocery store. It's on. When the zombie apocalypse happens, I'm gonna be pissed. I'll have to learn how to make electricity just so I can charge my ipod. That's how much it means to me. It also means something totally different as well.
In college, I had my tarot read three different times, three different ways, by three different people. I'm not totally horoscope, tarot, wicken crazy, but I do understand what it is professing to you. You read into it and get out of it what you want and believe. I get it, it's cool. So anyway. I had my cards read and each time the person said to pick one card and set it aside Then they explained that is card was going to symbolize my personality. Who I truly was and am. So I did. This is what I picked EACH AND EVERY time:
I couldn't believe it. I thought it was weird. First off, how the hell did I pick the same card three different times in different settings. I thought it was a prank, then I thought about what the card meant. I looked it up and it is not the symbolism of a man alone. The hermit card is the story of a Greek man who walked around with a lantern lit during the daytime. Many people thought he was stupid and eccentric and weird. When asked about it, his answer was that he was shining a light during a time of darkness. Many laughed, but when I think about it I get it. What the card meant to me was how much of a hermit I am.
I always have my headphones on. It shuts out the outside world so that I can live and enjoy myself without interference from others. It allows me to enjoy the things I love without explaining why. (I also am very smart and quick to correct people who are wrong. You see, I am the lantern in the world of darkness). No matter how crowded or how isolated, when I have my headphones on I am no longer alone. I am in a world that brings me peace and joy. Yes, it annoys me when you can tell that I'm listening to music and then you want to talk to me. If I wanted to talk, they would be off to begin with. But its okay.
In a world with no power, no tv/radio, no internet, I don't know what I would do. Most likely I would live in the mountains, grow a beard, and carry a lantern.
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