Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Mental Health My Ass....

Just to preface before you read below, this might not be parent/kid language friendly.  I will curse a lot.  I mean a lot.  Continue as you like.

When I got home from work tonight, I checked one of the regular music news websites and found out that Passion Pit is going to take a break from their tour.  When I found out I was a little sad, because they're coming to Charlotte this week and now they aren't.

Then I read why they wouldn't be here.  This is why:

"On behalf of the band and myself, I would like to greatly apologize for the show cancellations. In order for me to ensure that there will be no further disruptions, I am going to take the time to work on improving my mental health. For now, I'd like to thank all of our fans for their understanding. I hope to see all of you very soon in a much different light."

Hey asshole, what...the...fuck....are you talking about?  First and foremost I could care less about you stupid mental health issue.  You take out your anger, angst, sadness, love, and other emotional BS in songs don't you?  What the fuck do you need to take a mental health break for?  You don't work a fucking 9-5 job.  You don't work in the hospitality business, where you have to have a stupid fucking smile on your face all the time while people talk to you like your stupid and shit.  You don't have to teach and deal with bad ass fucking kids and their equally retarded parents.  You haven't put out a song in like 3 years.  That was the time you were on "vacation."  That was the fucking time you needed your mental health break.  Maybe you shouldn't have been banging hookers and doing coke and being an asshole hipster from the northeast.  Maybe you should have been writing more fucking songs and putting out another album in that time period.  Oh, you were busy?  Sorry, what the fuck were you doing during that time? Not jack shit, that's what.  Were you sleeping in a dark room because your girlfriend dumped you?  Yes?  Then write a fucking song about it.  Did you have a great relationship and you want to just shout out loud how much you love your bitchass girlfriend?  Yes?  Then write a fucking song about it.  Did you go to a Penn State camp as a kid and played football and never wanted to acknowledge why you stopped?  No?  Then you don't have a fucking mental health problem.

If I was your therapist, this would be our session:

You: "Doc, I just don't know what's going on?"
Me:  "Well, tell me what's going on.  What are you doing in work?"
You: "Well, my band, which put out a very successful debut album is about to go on tour."
Me:  "Okay."  (quizzical look starting to appear on face)
You: "And well, I'm a little drained emotionally and physically.  I don't know if I can do this.  My brain is like, you know, just in a million places right now."
Me: "Okay.  How long have you been on touring?"
You: "Well, we haven't started yet."
Me: "Wait, what?"
You: "Yeah, we haven't toured yet."
Me: "Okay, when was the last time you toured."
You: "October of 2010."
Me: "Wait, what?"
You: "Yeah, we did shows in 2010.  Life has been crazy for a while."
Me:  "Well, what have you been doing?  Did you release a new album?"
You: "No.  Our new album drops on July 24, 2012"
Me: "Wait, what?  So what have you been doing?"
You: "You, know, writing songs and shit.  Life has been crazy."
Me:  "Okay, so you have a new album coming out and you are doing a tour, right?  How long have you been touring?"
You:  "Oh, we haven't gone on tour yet."
Me:  "Wait, what?"
You: "Yeah, we start our tour in July."
Me:  "So let me get this straight.  You put out an album in 2009.  You went on tour for a year.  You did shows and festivals.  You then took a break to work on a new album.  Which you've been working on for the last....3 years?  You are now going on tour in three days and you claim that you are mental unhealthy?  Is that correct?"
You:  "Yes, doc.  Don't you see?"
Me: "No I don't.  Get the fuck out of my office.  Right now.  Seriously.  Get the fuck out."
Me:  "Wait before you go.  You cancelled the entire tour right.  You know that mental health is not something that is an easy fix.  It takes time and effort.  You have to put in a lot of work to make yourself better."
You:  "No, we didn't cancel the whole tour.  We will be playing in Chicago for Lollapalooza on Aug 2, in like two weeks.  Then we are off to Colorado 4 days later to do a show at Red Rocks with Justice."
Me:  "Get the fuck out of my office."

This conversation is why you're argument for mental health is INVALID.  It's fucking invalid.  Mental health is not something that you get better from in less than two weeks.  Plus, cancelling little shows to take time to be better and then performing at fucking Lollapalooza is a fucking joke.  You make me sick.  "Sorry work, I can't come in for like a week because one of my favorite bands cancelled their gig here.  It's caused me to have mental health issues.  I need a couple days off."  My job would laugh and fire me at the exact same time.  You people haven't done shit for THREE fucking years.  Get the fuck on tour and rock the house.  Find some small town strange and go to fucking town.

Your mental health issues.  Work on them.  Work on them when they need to be worked on.  If that means now, then take the fucking time to work on them  Plus, what type of pussyass tour cancelling reason is that.  You motherfucking emo kids.  It's like the shirt says: "If my lawn was emo, it'd cut itself."  Real rock stars go out on tour and bang hookers and do blow and shoot heroin and trash cities and leave a trail of dust in their rear view mirrors.  If any of the bands you grew up listening to and idolizing heard this retarded fucking shit, they would beat the fuck out of you and take your mom back to the fucking hotel.  Seriously, NO BAND IN THE HISTORY OF BEING AN AWESOME FUCKING BAND NEVER....NEVER...EVER TOOK A BREAK FOR MENTAL HEALTH.  Red Hot Chili Peppers stopped a tour because of HEROIN.  Not because their Prozac couldn't be fucking filled.  HEROIN!!!!  Your excuse makes you FUCKING weak!! You couldn't attend Cobra Kai dojo.  John Kreese laughs in the face of you pussyass excuse. "Oh my vagina hurts.  I can't do a tour for like 4 days."

In the immortal words of ...... me:  "Get the fuck over it."  I'm sorry that people shelling out $20 plus bucks to see you rock the house can't some how get your mental health in a better place.  It must suck to have to not decide whether I'm going to get groceries or maybe add more gas to my tank or go see your band play.  Rough life.  People in celebrity positions claiming the need of rest due to mental health is such a first world problem.  It would be like someone in a third world country complaining about .... wait, nothing.  You know why?  Cause they fucking struggle all the time.  Its a fucking world full of third world problems.  Suck it the fuck up and go the fuck on tour.  Do ALL the shows.  Either cancel them all or do them all.

Yes, your new singles are pretty good.  But do not ever stop a tour because of mental health and then keep the schedule for a big venue two weeks later.   Fucking Emo kids.

No comments:

Post a Comment